Let’s face it – relationship breakdown and family separation can be hard work! When children are involved it typically involves a period of disorganised family life for all members. The duration and intensity of the disruption may be influenced by your child’s age, the level of hostility between you and your ex-partner, family finances or your preparedness as parents to work together in resolving an array of parenting issues.
When children are not involved the process of relationship breakdown and separation can never-the-less be a time of intense emotional upheaval. The fighting may/may not continue as one or both partners contend with intense feelings of anger; sadness; grief; resentment… It may be that you are still in love with your ex and find it heart-wrenching to divide your belongings and prepare to move on alone.
Counselling offers you understanding amidst all the confusion. A counsellor can show you how to respond (rather than react) when you are under the influence of powerful emotions – and help you begin the process of coping and letting go so you can move forward with your life goals – or develop new ones.
Adjusting to Separation with Children
Everyone needs time to adjust to family separation…but how will you know if things are going well? Generally, when a family is free of violence or abuse, an important indicator of post-separation well-being for children and parents alike is the maintenance of equal or significant time with both parents across a range of week days – and little or no ongoing parental conflict. For most families this is a big ask. Separation is typically a time of heightened emotion, tension and disagreement – which means it’s not always easy to make rational parenting decisions…
Separation and divorce have a bad reputation – particularly when children are involved. But it doesn’t have to be that way. Once you realise your marriage or couple’s relationship is over, counselling can help you make sense of your loss and adjust to the many changes to family life. Amid all the emotional upheaval and frustration, a counsellor can show you how to maintain a rational outlook and communicate your concerns to your ex in a way that allows you both to move on peacefully.
Signs your child may be hurting
Children may experience a range of quite powerful emotions that are both confusing and unsettling. When they can’t say what’s wrong they’ll most likely act out – making parenting more difficult.
If your child is displaying any of the following behaviours seek professional help as soon as possible.
Loss of trust in parents
Difficulty making and keeping friends
Loss of self-confidence
Poor school performance
Building Self Esteem
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