What if we need extra assistance after completing the quizzes?

Each quiz includes additional resources you may wish to explore, including online research topics, links to relevant websites etc.  There is always the ability to engage an experienced Relationship or Marriage Counsellor by organising a phone or videochat (FaceTime, MS Teams etc) session. Call reception on 0419531269 for booking details.  Alternatively, you can search online for a suitably qualified Counsellor in your city/region if you prefer in-person counselling sessions.

I’m not an emotional person so how can the survey benefit me?

Put simply, as human beings we are all emotional creatures. We experience a range of emotions no other animal in the Animal Kingdom does. Unlike most animals that are driven primarily by instinct, we are driven largely by emotion. Emotions have power and they impact us positively or negatively. They also have a lifespan of their own. Love is arguable one of the most powerful emotions we experience as human beings. If you think of the love you feel for someone significant in your life, maybe your child or a parent, are you able to just switch that feeling off like you would a light switch? The answer is No, you can’t. It is the same for all the other emotions that are attached to your relationship needs. They will not be ‘switched off or shoved aside’ indefinitely. If you leave yourself in a relationship with unmet needs, you’re going to feel it – and it’s not comfortable. Because we’re creatures of comfort, we strive to get our needs met – the Relationship Survey helps you understand what your needs look like in behavioural terms so you can ask your partner to meet them the way you need them met.  

What if my relationship has ended?

Despite its name, the Relationship Survey is as much a self-awareness exercise as it is a couples one. Because we often feel confused around why a relationship ended, or we’re not entirely happy in a relationship but can’t quite work out why, exploring the nature of your own needs helps you identify those needs that are being met by your partner and those that aren’t.

We’ve been together a long time. I think I know what my partner needs from me.

When we first meet a potential partner, we don’t typically sit down and have a cold and clinical conversation about emotional needs. We’re usually feeling excited and just want to spend as much time together as we possibly can. Everything is wonderful as we head off into life together – but as time passes, we start to feel less excited about spending time together. Something has changed. We’re not as happy anymore. What has most likely happened is we’ve made assumptions about our partner’s needs. In the case of the need for Affection for example. Most of us tend to think, “Okay, I like being touched or cuddled often, and when we’re out walking, I love to hold hands. That’s what my need for Affection looks like so I’ll just do the same to my partner and they should be happy with that.” The problem is we haven’t asked our partner if that is what their need for Affection looks like.  We’ve assumed their need is the same as ours, and when they pull away, we’re bewildered and may even accuse them of being ungrateful – or worse still, of rejecting us!  Because we’re all individuals, our needs look different, plus men and women tend to have different needs. That’s natural. The other thing to remember is that our needs change over time…so it’s a good idea to check in with each throughout your lifespan. What we needed as an 18-year-old without children is going to look different when we’re 38 years old with a family of six!

And remember, you can always book a direct session with our Marriage & Relationship Counsellor Melinda anytime.